Accept yourself with all your faults. Accept others with all their faults, for it is the true essence of happiness

I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.

-Martha Washington

Most of us are so used to critically analyzing each one of our decisions that we sometimes end up being under-confident about our very decision making ability. Often we put on a show of nonchalance or bravado to cover up for it. Sadly this may appear like arrogance to the people we deal with and they in turn may get all defensive. This marks the beginning of a relationship of misunderstanding between you and them.

The key to resolving this impasse is in realizing that none of us are perfect and come with inadequacies which we are constantly trying to hide. This is where all the trouble begins. If we could willingly be upfront and accept our own shortcomings and be accommodating of those of the others, we would have found the key to resolving conflict.

Owning up to one’s shortcomings and then learning to be comfortable with that knowledge is not easy. One has to practice not being overly self-critical and feeling a 100% comfortable with who one is- warts and all.

The next step on the path to happiness is to recognize that just like you; others too are human with their own peculiar faults and shortcomings. 

One should look upon accepting one’s mistakes as a means of liberation, which allows one to embrace one’s personality for what it is and revel in it. If one assumes that life is nothing but the quest to be perfect, this will remain an unfulfilled one. None of us are perfect. I am not for a moment suggesting that one be irresponsible and not accept accountability. But wallowing in guilt about one’s human mistake or seething in anger about someone else’s is an exercise in futility.

If one allows oneself to accept the faults and shortcomings of one’s own self and that of the others, one opens the path to greater peace and happiness, which in turn leads to progress in life. 

If one observes the lives of people, like Gandhi, Mandela and Obama, who achieved great things despite tremendous odds, one will see that these are people who neither nursed a grouse nor wallowed in self doubt. Instead they focused on working with what they had using positive affirmative action to make things better for everyone around them. 

We have to understand that we all come equipped with certain strengths and weaknesses and the best way forward is for us to combine the former so that we cancel out the latter. Life is not about hiding one’s own weaknesses and identifying and magnifying that of the others. It is rather all about leveraging each other’s strengths. 

We are all like flowers of different kinds, each beautiful in its own way. Yet we can come together as an even more beautiful bouquet. The pursuit of happiness is the very essence of life and there is actually a multi-billion dollar industry built around it in the shape of self help books, training workshops and what not. Yet the path to success in this endeavor is quite simple and straightforward. All one needs to do is to realize and accept that all humans have faults and it is not a bad thing to have them. Once we realize this about ourselves and the others we are ready to move on and use each other’s strengths to make life as beautiful as we like.