When society resists change

What has our society become? I have always asked myself this question that stems from an intention to always do what is the best for our surrounding and of course for ourselves.

Many of our practices today are derived from religion. But again, many are derived from culture and by time we may forget which is which. Luckily, we have many knowledgeable people that can easily distinguish between both. However, there are many who seem to be confused and lost.

As our society matures, and with the great advancement of technology we use today, we find our communication to the society has changed drastically.

I recall the days we used to visit our neighbors, distant relatives and friends just by knocking their doors without knowing if they were available. Few decades later, technology came and we used phones to call  before we visit. Today, we use social media to plan meetings and visits. The same goes to wishing each other Eid Mubarak or Ramadan Kareem. With one broadcast, we think that we have reached out to people that we care about, yet in that process, we eventually realize that we have lost connection with people in our lives and technology has done what we should have. But technology, we can all agree on, is a two edged sword as in many cases, when used efficiently, makes life much easier. I will come to that in the next few paragraphs.

Among the changes that I have seen over the last few years is some of our cultural habits with regards to social obligations. Let us have a look at what we do when a woman has just delivered a new baby. My wife and I have always been sending a bouquet of flowers with a congratulatory note. And that has always been everyone’s way to express their sentiments towards a happy occasion.

To my surprise, one day, my wife told me about a friend who asked visitors not to send any flowers. Instead, she referred to a charity fund that she supported and wanted those well-wishers to contribute to the fund instead. When I heard this news, my eyes popped as I finally found an innovative idea of contributing to the needy and less fortunate sector of our society.

Next day, my wife went to visit the new mother without a bouquet of flowers, and to her shock, she saw the hospital room filled with bouquets of flowers. She felt embarrassed and immediately ordered a bouquet herself. Although the initiative was great, the society was not ready for this type of change and resisted it. Is it our responsibility to adapt to what has already been established as a cultural practice or should we be the ones who break the norm and take the first step that will lead to major change to our practices?

I bet, many people poured more money into flowers, than they do with towards charity.

Many might hesitate to give a helping hand to someone in need, even with a small amount, while they wouldn’t hesitate to spend tens and hundreds of times more on flowers throughout the year as a gesture of expressing happiness to a woman who just had a baby or to congratulate a couple for getting married. These hundreds of dinars within just a few days go to waste, yet one dinar that goes to a person who is in need, may help a family earn their meal on that day.

Another issue we need to address is the fact that hundreds of thousands of dinars every year goes in the form of advertisements in newspapers to announce that a member of the family has deceased.

In a small country of ours, this is a known fact. The moment someone passes away, within minutes, we get the news, thanks to the smart phones we hold in our hands all day . This small super person computer has capabilities of sending hundreds if not thousands of messages in a split of a second and lets not forget the strong influence of social media spreading news to the world before we blink an eye.

Imagine these hundreds of thousands are spent on bringing the smiles to the face of the less fortunate among our society. A friend of mine once told me that the money that was allocated by his family for advertisements to announce the demise of his uncle was directed towards funding students who required financing to pursue their higher education and we all know that many people need such kind of support. It is therefore a social responsibility too to direct these finances to individuals who need it to simply be capable of entering university.

If we get our self-esteem from appearances, financial situations, business success or superficial places, we will be disappointed because no one can assure that we can have all that forever. Self-esteem should therefore come from a good deed that you have done and that has helped make someone else’s life better and easier.