Gisele Bündchen finally reveals why she and Leonardo DiCaprio broke up

Gisele Bündc h e n just got candid about why she ultimately broke up with former beau Leonardo DiCaprio. The 38-year-old supermodel, who dated DiCaprio for five years, says she experienced a dark period in her early twenties, even though her career was on fire. She began to have panic attacks, she told Porter magazine, and had become depressed. “When I was going through my panic attacks, I didn’t even feel like I could share with anyone,” said Bündchen.

“I thought maybe I don’t have the right, everybody is going through so many difficult things in the world, and I don’t have the right to feel this way. So I’d suppress it, and the more I suppressed it, the bigger it became.” Bündchen says a doctor prescribed Xanax but she didn’t want to take it, instead choosing to change her lifestyle. Rather than living out of a suitcase, subsisting on mocha Frappuccinos, cigarettes and wine, Bündchen cut back on her work, along with sugar, caffeine and alcohol.

She dove into yoga and meditation and spent more time with her family. And, as she writes in her new book, “Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life” she also realized that DiCaprio, was no longer right for her. “No longer numbing myself with smoking, drinking and too much work, I was becoming more and more aware of things that I’d chosen not to look at,” she wrote.

“Was I alone in wanting to do some serious soul-searching while he stayed the same? In the end, unfortunately, the answer was yes.” Bündchen broke up with DiCaprio in 2005, and in 2006 she began dating Tom Brady. The two married in 2009 and have since welcomed two children.